Start the strip.

I got down and dirty with Fiddy today and started stripping away obstacles to the inevitable engine removal. Bonnet, grille, rad and airbox are now off and I'm starting to see the fun to be had from stripping watercooled motors. THERE'S SO MUCH STUFF!! (VW's were never this complicated.) So many pumps and compressors and well, stuff! Whoever designed the Pajero must have had a shares in We Make More Types Of Belts and Radiators Than You Could Ever Imagine Possible Plc. It's like a coolant fetishists wildest fantasy under the bonnet.

Things looked grim when the hoses came off the bottom of the radiator as it seemed someone had used it for their secret cough syrup stash. I think it was Blackcurrant Benylin - it certainly looked like it. Maybe it was chocolate sauce. I'm a bit timid with new taste experiences so didn't actually try any. I was greatly relieved to get the thermostat housing off though, and douse the drive in what, by comparison, looked to be mountain spring water, albeit from a mountain spring with a Chernobyl postcode.

I've just had a leaf through the Haynes Book Of Lies to see what the next step should be. A bit ot RTFM action. Section 2E-9, paragraph 2, says I should refer to chapter 4 to depressurise the fuel system. Chapter 4 says 'Don't mess with pressurised injectors OR YOU'LL DIE!!!!'. What it doesn't say, so far, is how to depressurise the fuel system. I'm going to R the FM a bit more but am already losing patience and approaching the stage where I might F the FM. Check mondays headlines. If it says 'Man Messed With Pressurised Injectors AND HE DIED!!!', get that mad bint from Most Haunted to pop round and I'l take back all I said about the Haynes Book Of Lies.


By the way, first evidence of engine damage was seen today. On closer inspection of the tops of the valves I saw that, despite the rocker shaft being out, one of the valves was still open. Now it could be lazy valve syndrome, in which case a good talking to might sort things out, but I suspect other things. More precisely, I suspect a broken or disconnected conrod left the piston high and dry and the valve, far from being lazy, had some Duracell Bunny thing going on and came to blows with the piston. This means there are several possible scenarios, aside from the one where I wonder about the oxmoronic properties of the phrase 'disconnected conrod', these being:
1) Piston 1, Valve Nil
The valve lost, plain and simple. The bottom end is still stuffed but I may get away without too much in the way of replacement parts up top.
2) You should have seen the other guy
The valve has taken a pasting but gave as good as it got, causing damage to the piston, possibly making time to have a pop and the innocent bystander that was the cylinder head. The bottom end is still stuffed but has the piston, valve and maybe the head to keep it company on the ward.
3) My Last Grenade!!
The Valve and/or Piston died a nasty death but, in their dying moment, managed to unleash some shock and awe on the rest of the engine - Mitsubishi Assured Descruction if you will. The bottom end is still stuffed but has the piston, valve and maybe the head to keep it company at the taxidermist.

Personally, I hope it's lazy valve syndrome, although there's always Donald Rumsfeld's famous 'Things we didn't know we didn't know' scenario. That being the case, the engine could be suffering from a surfeit of Blackcurrant Benylin.